The Eagle’s message….

Seven months after the initial onset of the illness had begun I felt physically stronger and ready to take on my life. During those seven months of the illness it became clear to me that I had to restart my life, begin again, so I left my prairie homeland and arrived at a destination along the West Coast of Canada waiting for a ferry headed for my soon to be island home. I arrived at the ferry terminal newly separated after 30 years of marriage and my daughter left home to pursue her dreams. I physically left behind 30 years of memories, photos, collections, family and friends but had a heart full of fond recollections of years past and new founded fears of what lay ahead. While waiting for the ferry I remembered the words my Guide shared with me one evening during my illness. The Guide whispered to me that it was time to move away from where I was and head to an island to experience more of who I am.  I knew this to be true, I could feel it to my core, but I didn’t clearly know what this true life looked like for me…I sure wanted to find out. Over the years, my Guide Nathan, taught me that at some point in life we awaken the desire for more of our true self to be revealed and embraced and that life will unfold a path leading to the expression of the true self. He taught that in order to travel that path we needed to be aware of the clues of love in our life and to be willing to courageously follow those clues.   He also taught that all emotions, all feelings, all that we experience is part of the sacred, authentic path  and are sacred teachers that should not be judged. Well, here I was, embracing my path and I was feeling so depressed, so down hearted, confused, numb and damn good and mad at the Divine as I stood at the ferry terminal waiting for the ferry to take me to my new home. I kept thinking that being my true self meant  I should be more accepting, loving, more grateful for the journey that lead me to this point, after all it was an inspired journey by my Guide Nathan, but in the moments before boarding the ferry I had a “hate” on for the Divine as never before, and felt as if I was being singled out and punished by the Divine.  I now realize that those feelings were authentic, true and real and the gateway to freeing myself..true feelings…true self.

My small little car was packed with the few things I had saved from my previous life, my fuming attitude filled the rest of the car with distrust and fears of the future.  My heart  was torn from the separation of a marriage and the empty nest.  As I pondered my situation I recognized the hauntingly familiar sound of the whistle of an eagle. I looked upwards and there, on a pole at the entranceway to the ferry stood a huge eagle, majestic, strong, powerful. The eagle kept looking at me, twisting his head at an angle that would allow him full view of my car. I stepped out of the car and took in the beauty of this majestic being. I was completely engaged with the beautify of this eagle.  I noticed that this engagement with the eagle created a place where my pain had stopped, the tear in my heart softened, my angry attitude forgotten, all I could think about was the absolute gift of this eagle in front of me, the mesmerizing presence of this winged gate keeper.  I was completely in the present moment, and it was the perfect place to be! Suddenly the eagle dipped its head, spread out its wings and looked as if it was going to dive towards me, I felt a shiver go through my body. Such power, such strength was displayed by this eagle. As the eagle stood there in this pose, I realized he had snapped me even further into the present moment, I was fully, 100% present, and as a result of being so present, my suffering subsided and whatever suffering was left had no power over the moment. Suddenly I was aware that I could smell the salty sea air, feel the heat of the sun on my face, feel my breath in my body, and saw the gift of the life laid out before me. I was alive, and I was living my life, taking a chance and letting go. I was like the eagle, poised for my moment(s), ready to take off into the next phase of my life journey.

What I learnt:  I am absolutely abundantly amazingly authentic in all moments of my life. Sometimes Im authentically messed up, other times Im authentically loving, all aspects of me are authentic and true and I need to experience the real blueprint called me…lumps, bumps, grumbles and more….I am perfection, creation, an intended existence and all experiences are important contributors to the bigger picture of my life.

-I experienced that authenticity (being the true self) is not the same as perfection and often the pursuit of authenticity is actually a mask for seeking perfection. I am perfectly imperfect and authentically flawed and beautiful all at the same time. Authenticity unfolds and is imperfect, perfection demands and is limiting

– Authenticity is present, real, true and always alive and well, it does not need to be sought after but rather it requires a walk in life that reveals, bit by bit, the truest expression of who I am and why I am here. Also, the experience of my true self can change and alter day by day, It is not a destiny but rather a journey.

-The eagle, to me, was a sacred messenger and these messengers are all around all day long. They come in the form of family, friends, fur babies, winged wisdom, the plants, the sky, clouds, waves, the smell of salty air by the ocean and so much more. The eagle taught me to wake up, be in the present moment, and in that present moment awareness teachers, sacred clues and messages will appear so that I can embrace the journey ahead.

I boarded the ferry after thanking the eagle. I felt my wings spread, my eyes wide open, my heart ready to step into my life. I was alive….ALIVE!! This is what being alive was all about, being in the present moment and engaging with Divine sacred teachers, messengers and embracing the journey called life.  I boarded that ferry, confidently and with a renewed strength. I watched as the eagle flew off majestically over the ocean looking for its next student..I bought a latte, and sat on the deck of the ferry enjoying the view.

Blessings and Light



Let Life Begin….

The journey back to a healthy productive life took me sometime. My greatest obstacle was myself, my greatest challenge was myself, and yet my greatest healing came from understanding myself. I look back on the challenges of that illness and I am so super grateful I ran into the blessing of hitting rock bottom, no, not to bounce back up or however that saying goes, but to scrape along the rocks allowing the process of disassembly to regenerate my life. I did not bounce back up because I hit bottom, I built a foundation made of stone while I dwelled in the lowest place of my life, I used the force of suffering to be the catalyst of freedom. Oh, don’t kid yourself, I went through mounds of tear filled Kleenex, jaw clenching fear, and a pronounced stubborn refusal to change my ways, but I persevered because I wanted to LIVE, not just be alive, no, I wanted to LIVE! Life doesn’t have to hit me so hard anymore for me to adjust my sails and get back on course, I developed an awareness that cannot be denied. Here is what I learnt… Continue reading

Surrendering to the plan…

body-bg.jpgSurrender, not my favourite topic, in fact I never really ever wanted to look at a plan other then the one I had maticulously massaged out of my own head. What is surrender anyway,? Do I need to hand over everything to the unknown, to trust, to just wander around waiting or “God” or whatever it is to show up and make everything better?! Surrender to me was a fancy name for doormat behaviour, or a state of limbo, very very painful pauses where action could be more productive. I tended to be more of what is termed a type “A” personality, so of course do do do was the top of my list every day. Even while I was sick, barely able to be out of bed for more then an hour at a time, I would do my duties as a mother, as a business owner, as a daughter…imagine that, standing at a sink doing dishes while my legs shook and could barely hold me upright, stubborn determined control so habitual it felt as natural as breathing and as important as my own life. I had a lot to learn. Continue reading

Is it my Guide or is it me?


continuation from the previous post, Check Mate….

I decided it was time to take on this illness that had tackled my life…daily meditations, journaling, eating a very pure diet consisting of the finest organic veggies and meat. Every morning I would take a handful of vitamins and of course the meds my doctor prescribed for me. These pharmaceuticals are useless bloody things I thought, but I will take the prescription just to be sure I covered all ground. My Doctor ordered my medication to be taken 6 times a day at the exact same time every day, my every waking hour was fully absorbed in healing. My heart rate remained very high therefore making my metabolism ultra quick, I was absolutely starving all the time and would burn through my food so fast that it seemed like I was eating several times an hour yet I continued to loose a lot more weight. I was giving this healing journey my all, yet I was not improving.

I became very frustrated, anger rose inside of me, I was very used to winning physical battles, after all I had just retired from a very successful career as a sought after homeopathic doctor and during that career I was able to help hundreds and hundreds of people heal their health issues. Ah yes indeed,..  humbled yet again. In frustration, I stood in the middle of my living room and yelled out loud to my guides, “where are you, I can’t hear you, help me”! immediately a voice from deep within my heart spoke ever so softly and said, “Im right here, but you can’t hear me over your own demanding voice”. “Im listening damn it!! I yelled back. ” I’m doing everything I know how to do” I said. “Yes, ’tis true,” said the voice from within, ” you are, doing everything YOU know how to do but you are not doing what our guidance is telling you”. I suddenly felt super weak and proceeded to sit on the floor feeling defeated but yet noticed a flicker of fight existing somewhere deep inside. I thought about what my beloved Guide had just shared with me, and realized that I was following my knowing mind but not my guided intuitive mind.

What I learnt….

What I thought was guidance was actually a recall of the familiar, that which I innately and educationally knew. I was so used to being in control, so used to being in charge that I immediately went to the familiar and did not make room for the unfamiliar. I remembered the instructions of my Guide asking me to be authentic to my Guides first and then to the world, to be present in this one moment I have right now, to surrender. I was in no way surrendered but was in full blown control mode. My career as an Intuitive, spanning over almost 2 decades taught me clearly how to decipher guidance from the ego self yet in this personal instance I avoided what I knew was sacred guidance because I was keenly aware and very afraid of how things were going to change and what my life would look like after all the healing had taken place. I choose my familiar habits and mindset over Guidance.

I have provided Intuitive Readings for over almost 6000 worldwide, and every time I engage with Sacred Guidance it comes forth as a silent whisper that encourages present moment awareness.  It is a word or two, maybe a sentence if you are lucky that points a finger in a direction, and often tells you something that is way out of your box.  It is that still small voice that can rattle you yet console you at the same time. Guidance is an energy, a presence, it does not necessarily only come forth as a voice, it can show up as wisdom shared by another earth traveller (human, animal or plants), a sign you see on the road, a song.  The modality for communication of guidance can vary and is as unique as our own fingerprint.  We each have our own way of receiving and interpreting guidance yet there is one consistent pattern almost always present when guidance is sought, and that is if what I am “hearing” as guidance has a full out ready to go plan, knows the outcome, is a loud cheerleader, a persistent dominant voice advocating a certain pathway that is filled with hauntingly familiar solutions, then this is the shadowed self, the ego directing the show, this is not guidance. Guidance is a gentle advocate, one the presents a perspective that may be familiar yet is often a perspective that would not be considered due to the challenge or vulnerability at hand.  Guidance usually will give a big vision glance but then reverts to present moment promptings and challenges. It is brief, slight, gentle, at times persistent, pesky but always in a subtle way.

This week….

Allow yourself to observe rants and raves of what you should do, how you should be that echo within your heart. When these rants and raves begin they are far different from a creative flurry, they present as almost overbearing planning sessions and directives that start flying around inside your mind. Do not negate these thoughts or deaden their voice, let it swirl, observe, stay in the present moment, but remain as an observer, even nodding your head or acknowledging the “wisdom” as if you can see what this voice means and says. At this point you are merely listening but choose to not be obedient to the voice, its as if it is background sound.  Remember, negating this voice will only make it louder later. If this voice persists, allow yourself to drift into the present moment, pulling away from the voice by occupying yourself in the here and now.  You can become more present simply by observing your breath, a walk in nature, cooking a meal, go for a run, ride a bike but be here now. Notice how the persistent voice starts to weakens with your present moment activity. Eventually while you are in the present moment a whisper will break through, it will be quick, sometimes pointed, but it will peak through. When you hear the whisper, thank your Guide for pointing a finger in the direction you need. Begin to journal, follow or create what is given to you. At this point you can add in your own flavour, your own creativity and expand upon the idea given. Now your creative process of interacting with Guidance has begun. Ask the questions you wish to seek answers for, interact with your Guide and listen, surrender and have faith in your ability to embrace your life.

Next week… Surrendering to the plan.

Blessings and Light!




Check mate…


continuation from the previous post, Awakening…

I lay in bed acutely aware of the pounding of my heart alerting me to the fragility of my life.  My thoughts race, I am desperately searching for hope.  I am so young so vibrant with so much to offer, so many memories yet to make, so many precious moments to explore and yet my heart is tiring and fragile as it struggles against the on slot of thyroid hormones. I am too weak to fight, too weary to fix this, and too tired to try.  For the first time in my adult life I am completely surrendered physically, emotionally and spiritually. I realize that if my body is to heal it will require the unleashing of my authentic self.  How do I know this? How do I know my healing will not be as simple as taking meds and changing my diet?  My life experience as a holistic practitioner has taught me that in most instances healing requires attention to the body mind and Spirit. My holistic training taught me that the throat chakra, where the thyroid is located, is the energetic centre for speaking my own truth and revealing my authentic self. This chakra was screaming for attention and could no longer be dismissed or delayed. I was not surprised that my throat chakra was burning out, I had spent most of my life hidden under the radar from family, friends and associates with regards to the true me. No, I was not living a lie or being deceitful, I was afraid, actually terrified of the potential losses I would face if I would fully be me in the world. I had developed ways to cope with my fears and bury my dreams and hopes …I overworked, over committed, under cared for myself, and became everyones everything. The gig was up, if I wanted to live I couldn’t hide anymore.

While lying in bed I felt the desire to meditate.  During my meditation the words “Check mate” echoed over and over in my head with the familiar sound of my Guide’s voice. “Check mate dear one, we have placed you flat in bed to free you of your gated communities”.  Gated communities? I had no idea what this meant! With some trepidation I asked “Beloved Guide, what do you mean by gated community?” A compassionate voice answered “the community of illusions you have locked yourself so safely in… your roles, your self imposed limitations, the denial of your gift, the silencing of your blessed journey all for the illusionary sake of love, acceptance and the desperate search for approval”.  Once again my guide was right, correct, and undeniably accurate. “Beloved guide” my voice trembling with fear, ” how can I heal this, I don’t want to die, I want to live, to LIVE!!” My guide whispered to me, “Ah dear one,  follow our prompts, be in the present moment, be willing to reveal your truths to us first, then to the world, this is all we ask”. I immediately agreed, “okay, I’m in, you got me, check mate, I give!” I was ready, there was no bloody way I was leaving my life, my world, my family, no bloody way whatsoever! Whatever the price, whatever the pain, I was willing to traverse the path back to me.  I concluded my meditation, arose from my bed and headed over to a comfortable chair. I took a few deep breaths, began to journal and embrace the wisdom that my beloved guide shared with me. Let the healing begin!

What did I learn?  Sacred communication with guidance will Light the pathway to healing and awaken the will to thrive even in the most challenged situation. Slowing down enough to hear, being surrendered enough to listen, being willing to awaken are a potent combination for healing and revealing inner truths. Also, a declared intention is like signing a sacred contract with a Guide thus requiring me to trust, have faith and the courage to walk outside my “gated community”.

Practical applications for my healing path .. I invoked my guides daily to let them know that I was surrendered and willing to walk my healing path with them (see meditation below). I Stayed in the present moment as much as possible and when swayed by thoughts of fears or old habits I would bring myself back to the present moment by noting events and objects in my surroundings. I kept a journal and began writing my daily intentions for all three areas of my life (body, mind, Spirit). I visualized daily my ultimate life…who would I be, how would I love, my finances, my Work, my family, I would play in my mind and unleash all restrictions and denials. My mind became my playground for healing.

Meditation for seeking guidance…

Sitting comfortably, breathe slowly, following each breath in and out,  calm your body, calm your mind. Feet planted on the floor, hands gently placed on your lap, palms down, listen to/ follow your breath, in and out, in and out. Once relaxed, on an out breath, invoke your guide. “Beloved Guide I am yours, completely surrendered”.  I repeat this mantra several times on an out breath. My intention is for the guides to Work through me and speak my truths in a way I can see and understand. After invoking your guide and while still sitting, visualize / feel an energy or Light moving up from the ground, slowly moving up the legs, meeting in the pelvis, moving upward through the centre of the body, up through the crown of the head in a fountain form. Allow this fountain of Light to be present for a few breaths, then bring the fountain back down through the crown chakra, all the way down through the body, out the soles of the feet and into the earth. Practice this meditation daily.

My next post, “Is it you or is it me!!”, will be focused on deciphering guidance from the mind.



The Awakening

Awakening from my Silence…

“There comes a time when silence is betrayal” – Martin Luther King

During a recent meditation, my guide, Nathan taught me that “all beings are completely authentic, beautifully authentic, but authenticity becomes silenced and invisible through the ever present betrayals (denial) of the individual’s truth”. He continued to share that “authenticity is not a sought after goal, but through a process of Unfoldment, the authentic self will reveal its truest expression”. Nathan’s wisdom continued…  “Unfoldment is a present moment process, a courageous release of that which no longer serves thus revealing that which is essential to the Divine plan”.  Nathan also reminded me “the path to authenticity requires one to be acutely  aware in the present moment. This present moment awareness will bring to light the gentle promptings of Spirits call”. After my meditation, I reflected on Nathan’s teaching and how it played out in my journey of the past four years…a journey that was filled with realizations of where and when I silenced my authenticity and betrayed my sacred  path, a journey that lead me back to my authentic self. Upon further reflection I realized that the trials I walked through over those four years are sacred teachers, and worthy of sharing. My blog posts for 2018 will be dedicated to exploring my sacred four year journey of silence and  betrayal, renewal, and authenticity. My  posts will be vulnerable, raw and real. My hope is that by sharing my story a ray of light, hope and vision for your path will unfold.

The silent betrayal .. 

Four years ago I noticed a fine tremor in my legs, a generalized weakness and a feeling of exhaustion that I simply could not ignore. My life at that time was filled with roles, responsibilities, duties, and a vast array of this and that’s which fully occupied my every waking hour. I had love all around me yet I was empty, I had a thriving career as an intuitive with clients all around the world, but my body began fighting me and shutting down my ability to do my work. Every day I become more and more physically and emotionally weak. The tremors in my legs became more pronounced and coping with day to day stressors began to fall to the wayside in favor of immobility, exhaustion and a sense of dread…”why is my body betraying me!” I would ask.  Months had past, it became painfully evident that It was time to see the doctor and figure this all out, Admitting that I needed help, that I was completely confused as to what was happening was a very humbling experience, after all, I am an intuitive, a doctor of holistic medicine and former NICU RN, I should be able to heal this..or so I thought. During this time of physical trial, I would meditate, and my guide Nathan would stand before me, his hand outstretched, eyes gleaming like beacons of  Light, his words ever so gentle “trust me, reach out to me, rest dear one, I will guide you, comfort you, trust me”. I thought “Trust!! Are you kidding me!!” I am fiercely independent and rather stubborn! I silenced Nathan’s words by embracing my habitual coping mechanisms. My body continued to betray the demands I so stubbornly placed upon it, the situation worsened.

“You have a critical situation” said my physician. The blood results revealed that my thyroid was in such a hyper state that my body was literally going at warp speed, soon to burn out. “You will be in full heart failure within a week if you don’t do something now, your thyroid is critical, severely hyper” said my doctor. I could feel the blood draining from my face as he announced my fate. I was powerless, my body in severe danger. Several weeks had passed since my first tremors, I already lost over 38 pounds, my hair thinned substantially, my eyes appeared to be bulgy, I could not walk without assistance, and my heart raced between 98-120 beats per minute all day long. I was now face to face with the reality of my body saying clearly to my Spirit, “Wisen up babe, or we’re outta here”!  My body drew a clear line in the sand, change or be changed. The doctor proceeded to give me medication and said I would be on these meds for a lifetime. The doctor didn’t know if my hair would grow back to its usual thick mane, he didn’t know if I had sustained permanent muscle damage from the on slot of hormones, the future was unknown but the present was screaming loud and clear. This may not sound like a big deal to some, but to i, a doctor of natural medicine, it was humbling.The only healing path before me was pure and utter surrender, submission to the truth that I needed help, bigtime, and only the allopathic medicine would help. The plan before me…three to four weeks of bed rest, dietary restrictions, medical check ups and more. I felt as though God had me in a headlock and was asking me to say “I give I give, I’m yours!” My life as I knew it was about to change significantly, either I would stop betraying my Soul and submit to the journey of authenticity or I would visit my room on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge…checkmate! My body was exhausted from the push and shove of fulfilling all the obligations, roles, expectations and self induced perfections that I imposed on myself. My Spirit was saying it is time now to meet who you know yourself to be…time out, check mate, no way out! People often ask, how did I know that this wasn’t just a medical event, an imbalanced thyroid, a toxic situation, how did I know that there was a deeper meaning to the illness? My only answer is that after working for 28 years in regular and complimentary medicine, after 18 years of intuitive work, one thing I learnt for sure is that the body will absolutely send a message when Spirit has been denied. No, I didn’t cause the sickness because I wasn’t being me, that’s so new age and also I’m not so powerful! I did however silence my voice, my desires, my truths, my inner me for a very long time, and finally my voice became tired of being denied and sent me a message the only way I would hear…through the body. Sickness is a messanger, not a lesson to teach you how bad you were, what you did wrong, but a sacred messanger with Light filled guidance waiting to unfold.

I returned home after the doctors appointment, sat on my sofa and sobbed, buckets and barrels of tears that came from a place deep inside me that I didn’t even know existed. My inner me had been silent for so long, I was so bound up in responsibilities, have to’s, roles that the authentic me became completely buried and forgotten. My tears felt like a huge release and relief, I missed them, I had forgotten their power and healing ability. My tears brought forth compassionate love for my life and revealed to me that I allowed myself to be defined by the words of others and forgot my own inner self.  I was so used to stretching my hand out to the outer world for help, admiration and love verses holding my hands over my chest in prayer, insight and surrender.  I denied the voice of the authentic me, numb to the reality of my existence and the inner longing to live, thrive and expres my Light in its full potential. After much prayer (and a whole lotta Kleenex!) I landed on my knees, not in a dramatic way, but in a fully surrendered way and said clearly to my God, my guides and my ancestors…”I am here, fully humbled, make me as you intended, help keep me out of your way, I want to LIVE!”  I want to LIVE, not just be alive, but LIVE!!  As I struggled to get up from my knees, I sensed a peaceful silence in the room, the energy around me became still, my body stopped trembling, my legs still for the first time in weeks. I wanted to sleep, to lye in the energy of my beloved guides of whom I could sense were nearby. I wanted to open myself to my guides and hear their whisped reminders of the truths I had forgotten. It was time to journey back to the authentic me. I remembered Nathan’s words that encouraged me to be in this sacred space of peace…I finally arrived, nestled in his sacred embrace, silent, peaceful and damn scary all at once.

What did I learn….

Silencing my authentic expression created a place where fears hung out, where excuses dominated, a place where it became easier to be with the familiar then to reveal my authentic self. Silence, or in other words, betraying my own self expression created a satisfying feeling of becoming numb and afraid, comfortable and habitual. Betrayal is such a harsh word (I find), yet, as my body betrayed me I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for my life.  I was about to experience the greatest gift from my beloved guides,.. a knock upside the head, a kick in the ass, an opportunity to realign with my authentic self. The perceived betrayal by the body became my pathway to LIght, to finding Love, to revealing the full unedited version of me. My self induced silencing of the truth of me became a betrayal of my God given journey, yet evolved into a sacred, blessed teacher. 

These are very vulnerable, real and sometimes painful (often comical ) posts, but I truly believe that every test can become a testimony, a vehicle of Light to share with another. Perhaps you will see yourself in these posts, not identical but hauntingly familiar, let us walk together, in healing, in Love. In my next post, I will share with you how my guides, my ancestors, my Sacred Counsel assisted me, and how betrayal became the Lighted Pathway to my highest self.

Blessings and Light

Join Nathan for Teachings on Love and Gratitude

Commencing October 1st 2014, I will begin to share teachings by Nathan, my Spirit Guide, focused on love and Gratitude.  It has been a busy few years putting together our book, “The Relinquishment” therefore I have been unable to attend to my blog….I thank you for your patience!  Stay tuned, I think you will really enjoy the upcoming series of teachings!

Best Wishes


My Guide or my mind?!

nathan and I by the lakeMy Guide or my mind?!
“Dearest one, I speak to you not in loud demanding tones, I am not the one who boasts words of hatred, judgment or denial, ney, I am the Light that shines on your every word, way or shadow, I am the voice, that still silent, whispered voice that softly leads you to your highest calling. I see only beauty in you, I provoke you not, but I guide you gently, softly to the center of your heart.” – Nathan

Continuing on with my series focused on demystifying Spirit Guides, this blog post will focus on the benefits of present moment conciousness with regards to connecting with Spirits guidance, as well as assisting you to develop a way of understanding the conversation that occurs within your being, and how you can decifer if it is the sacred whispers of guidance or the ego mind attempting to drag you down yet another side road.

berry pickingPresent moment conciousness: Ah yes indeed, the buzz phrase of the year! Made popular by a fantastic best selling book, the world became familiar with the concept of being more aware. Present moment conciousness is an experience of allowing your being to be completely connected to your current experience and allowing your mind, body, heart and Spirit to embrace the task at hand. For example, while picking blueberries your whole concentration is on the moment at hand, you are keenly aware of the beautiful lush berries, the hot August sun warming your back, the gentle breeze, the bear coming out of the woods to eat you…ha ha, just seeing if you were concentrating on this moment or thinking about making a blueberry pie! If ,while picking the berries I am thinking about how many I can score to take home, if I am planning my pies, pie crusts, who I will give some to , who I wont, worrying if a bear will eat me, or if a bee will sting me…these all lead us away from being in the present moment. When you are totally in the present moment, you are more aware of the bear in the bushes or the bee about to sting you because your internal observer is on high alert, your instincts, intuition, your senses are hightened, you are aware of everything around you, including… the guidance from Spirit that awaits you. Being in the present moment is the time to ask for guidance, the present moment is the sacred time to ask to be shown the path for which you seek answers for your life journey. The present moment offers you an opportunity to become the observer, the one who sits deep inside your heart and instinctively watches, senses and guides you forth despite the callings of the mind or fears. For instance, if I am craving chocolate, and the craving is overcoming me, if my mind is chatting how I deserve a treat, how stressed or tired I am, (notice how the mind is referencing to past emotions and future fears) if in that moment I breathe, maybe even hold the chocolate bar and observe it, if I stop and observe the conversation within my head, I will notice that I am not in the present moment observing my life, that I am attached to and engaged with the rage of the mind, or the retoric I have received from others along my life path may be running my internal dialogue, I can even ask (as I so often do) who is speaking in my head…is this really me, is this really what I want. The incessant chatter, the voice of judgement, delay, justification and negotiating are indicators that guidance is not at hand, but the mind is in full swing! Always focus on bringing yourself back to the present moment. Who is really speaking, is the person Im arguing with really here at this moment, is the chocolate bar really what I want, what is it that I really want, is it peace, communication, creativity, calling yourself back to present moment conciousness is a sure way to open the gateways to communication with Guidance and intuition. As an animal lives in an instinctual state of being in the moment, they are able to follow the whispers of their Spirits guidance, the animals once again teach us how to be the Spirit we came here to be. As an Intuitive I am able to read energy and talk to Spirit(s) because in my time of meditation during a reading I fully bring myself to the present moment and simply observe the images and sounds that come before me, no judgment or thought, just receiving. In silence, in presence, in a moment of quiet I am able to receive the vibrations intended from Spirit. Be present, if the mind chatters ask who is really speaking and come back to the task or moment at hand, and in that space, ask to be shown your path (pertaining to a question you may have).

waves mnrSilence of the waves: So, to decifer if you are listening to your Guidance of Spirit or your mind, you have chosen to allow yourself to be in the present moment, to be aware of the task at hand, to meditate on or connect to the moment you are currently in, and in that moment you are a mere observer of all that is around you, all the sensations all the gifts of the present moment. In the present moment you may decide to ask a question of your Higher Self, perhaps it is about your life purpose, or a question about a relationship, or a question about overindulgences. Your question is not one of wanting to know, but to ask to be shown, this opens the gateway for waves of sacred lessons Divinely intended for your Highest purpose to come forth. If you ask to be shown, you guidance is then unrestricted, it is allowed to ebb and flow, it is given permission to show you both the light and the shadows of the answers to your question. You may want to ask to be shown what it is that you need to adjust in relationships, to be shown the path to an addiction free life, to be shown the words for a book, or to be shown the presence of your Spirits love for you. There is a vast difference between asking to be shown, or asking for specifics like, I would like to be caffiene or alcohol free, I would like to write a childrens book, I would like to earn more money…all fine and well, but if we ask to be shown the path to be shown our healing path of addiction, to be shown our creative gift of writing, if we ask to be shown Spirit will reveal, revel in and release all the information necessary to guide you on your path. Remember the importance of gratitude, before asking for guidance, give gratitude for the moment in which you are present and gratitude after asking for guidance, the Higher self loves gratitude! Also, be open to being shown, perhaps one needs to completely understand the control or pain and suffering that the addiction to chocolate or certain habit patterns has on their life, observe, watch what is unfolding before you, write, pray meditate on what you experience. It will be tempting to become emotionally involved in what is being unfolded before you, but observe as if you are watching a play unfold before you, …you may feel the emotions, cry, cheer, but you are watching things unfold on the stage of your life, mere actors are revealing your clues and messages for the answers to your question. As you receive and observe your answers, be present and follow the calling of your heart, you will know it is your heart because it will be subtle, peaceful, usually single words or gentle pushes from the Spiritual energy around you. As an animal feels (key word is sensation based) or senses it is time to move, they do so, this is a lesson for humans as well, to listen to the whispers of your heart verses the dictates of the mind. Remember, be present, ask to be shown, and observe your life in the present moment over the next few days (including dreams), you will see many many clues, words, sharings and more that will guide you along your path to the answers you truly seek.

Remember: Be present in the task, or moment at hand. In that present state have gratitude and ask that you be shown (whatever it is that you are seeking) for the highest good of your life path. Observe in the present moment over the next few days the lessons and gifts given in the direction of an answer to your question. Watch the stage of your life reveal the play you have been watching and the messages necessary to assist you on your path. This is a wonderful way to watch Spirits guidance at work!

IMG00038-20100311-1944 A smiling horse! For those of you who are skeptics about a horses ability to smile, this is my horse Jack, and yes, he is smiling, there are smiling horses in the world! Spirits voice, when it speaks to us is like a smiling horse, it is unexpected, it is out of the ordinary, it makes you smile (or laugh, be shocked, cry, run), you need to be very present to catch it, the mind needs to move past its limiting belief system, it evokes an emotion that stirs deep within you. Guidance rarely, if ever, appears like rose pettles being strewn across the pathway of life accented by angelic harpsicords playing in the background…it is subtle, silent, and often speckled with the unusual. Spirits voice can holler if you are not listening, but that usually occurs as a physical discomfort, illness, accident, or a repetive pattern of challenges that you may be avoiding. Would you expect to see a smiling horse? I sure as heck didnt! Jack popped his head up from his food, looked over in silence, and started to smile over and over and over, I laughed so hard I thought I would have to bolt to the nearest ladies room! Guidance, as I know it and experience it in readings with the hundreds of people I have connected with over the last 7 years in my Intuitive Readings is similar to the smiling horse…unexpected silent moments of sensation (emotions, feelings, knowings) based acts of random unplanned events, and we need to be very present to catch the smiling horse!

Next month: I will reveal some of the teachings that were shared with me from Guidance this summer, they will focus on embracing your life path and embarking on your quest, whatever that may be. Until then, practice present moment conciousness with gratitude, ask to be shown, be aware of the lessons all around you that show you your way, and of course, say hi to the smiling horse!

Im blessed and honored that you have chosen to read this information, I ask that you meditate and find the place within yourself that resonates with what is true for you.

Wishing you many blessings and Light

First three photos courtesy of Elaine Pace,

Spirit Guides – many forms, many faces

DSC00054Spirit Guides – many forms, many faces

As I observe the journey of the human experience, I notice that within our daily exploration of life lies the potential for Spirit’s guidance. Guidance from Spirit is available in so many ways and through many vehicles, for example, observe the interaction between a father teaching his child the intricacies of nature, observe a child’s willingness to learn, is this not a demonstration of Spirit communicating through one being in order to enlighten another with Divine Guidance? Connecting with Higher wisdom and embracing Spirits guidance can readily be achieved, it is meerly a shift in concious awarness and a willingness to expand our experience in order to create a sacred connection with our Guidance in every moment of every day.
Every experience is an opportunity to interact with Divine guidance, every being, every plant, ray of sunshine, breath of wind is a teacher from Spirit, if we limit ourselves to seeking a connection with a specific Spirit Guide through the use of a visual aid such as a personified expression of Spirit, we limit our messages from Spirit, we limit our Guidance. Spirit is all encompassing, present in all things, all beings. Expand your experiences with Guidance past the limiting beliefs of the source of guidance, embrace possibilites of an expanded Universe full of unlimited possibilities.
Many forms, many faces
As mentioned in my last blog post, Guides have been represented as mystical beings personified for the sake of providing a visual and emotional link to the power of connecting with Spiritual Guidance. Thats okay for starters, but can become very limiting over time. Life and Spirit wishes to guide us in many different ways, through many different experiences and vehicles, Spirit teaches through unlimited means and is awaiting your willingness to expand your connection to guidance. In my life I have experienced the energy of Spirit Guides through friends, pets, nature, ceremony, running, cooking and many other means.


A personal moment
A few years ago, my life as I knew it fell to pieces. A group of women,whom at the time were my dear friends and business partners, delivered an unexpected life altering blow. In a flash my friendships, associates and business partners forced the hand of a business takeover in a most heart wrenching manner. The world as I knew it was destroyed,.. after 9 years together I now faced no business, no associates, no friends. I drifted into a world of deep seperation from my life, I felt a sense of aloneness that even encompassed my relationship with Creator, I could feel nothing or no one, life was adrift, and I was sinking fast. In the silence of my wounded space, without drama, without crashing to my knees and playing out a pleading prayer (but I would have if necessary!), I simply looked deeply into the warm loving eye of my horse and said, “I give, you can have all of me, I cant do it anymore”. I felt the presence of Divine love, safety and nurturence in the horses presence and eyes, I knew I was communicating to Divine Guidance, I could see Spirit in his eyes! I had no focus on an end result of my call to Spirit, but a deep knowing, a sense, a feeling of release without intention to know the outcome, and in that space came guidance, came light, came love.
In that moment of communication with the horse, I was raw, real, surrendered, and sincere, all essential parts of connecting to Creators love and Spirit(s) Guidance. I awakened from my limited awarness of the Life I came to live, I wanted to Live, I gave up me, UP to my higher self, and from there the journey of many forms of guidance began. The horse was the sacred vehicle to Divine Guidance, a Spirit Guide, a benevolent being of wisdom and truth, I didnt know this at the time, I just felt surrendered to the love I felt in his eyes and aura, I seized the moment to connect, surrender, and ask for Guidance. Looking into his eyes, I knew I would be okay, that the Angels and Guides would embrace me, that Spirit had a big hold on my heart and once again I would find my way. Several years have passed since that experience, my life is full, bright, friends galore, more business then I ever imagined, and a closenss with my God that is beautiful and complete. I surrendered with passion and a desire to Live, and Spirits Guidance came forth!
I had many experiences similar to this several years before while on my grandparents farm (previous post). A feeling of being lost (in the bush), not knowing my way home, feeling scared, worried. In order to find my way home from my situation of feeling lost, I meerly surrendered, followed my gut, followed the guidance of the sky, the wind, scents, trees and trails, and eventually found my way back. It wasnt easy to find home out in that prairie bush, there were wolves, badgers, field traps, and scary shadows, but I let my fear lead me, for fear made me real, raw and surrendered and, guidance took my hand, showed me my way back home, and upon my arrival back at my grandparents farmhouse, I enjoyed the nurturing love found in a home-made cinnamon bun!
IMG_0572Connecting with guidance starts first with your desire to connect, in other words it is not what you say but how you say it, the music behind the words, the passion in the plea, a willingness to step out from behind your protective wall. In the initial stages of developing a connection with your Guidance it is best not to invoke the energies of Guidance with a preconcieved outcome, in other words, get real (expressing a desire) and get out of your own way, let your Guidance start the process for you. Later, plans and goals will apply, but not in the initial stages. When I walked through my journey a few years ago, and beconed for help, I had no idea what would happen, I had no plan, I had no knowing, I just knew that I had a desire, a longing to heal and awaken from my death sleep, how that happened, where, when and with whom was none of my concern, I opened the gates. This is how a connection and the beginnig of your process begins. In time you may want to look at your path and set goals, but your goals will be based on Higher wisdom verses fear or mind traps.
Approaching the call for help from Guidance when you are and raw, willing to walk the path given, come empty handed and full hearted with desire, and passionatly invoke your Guide(s), will ignite a Guided process that will begin to unveil your true potential, your life takes form, your journey begins. Ask for assistance with all of your heart, open the flood gates to any and all guidance, ask “I desire for the life you (Higher Source energy) gave me”, “I am willing to heal these headaches”, “I am willing to be Your Work (Source energy, Creator) here on this planet”, “I am willing to love another”, “I embrace all abundance you give me”, and ask with a desire so full, so burning with truth, so filled with tears, laughter, fear, joy, let your emotions be your guiding force of desire, if you are angry, admit it, if you are confused say it, talk to your Higher self as you would a trusted friend….this is the first step to connecting easily and with effective results of Spirit’s Guidance, …Ask, bang on the door of the energies that await your request, get real raw and open, afterall, your Higher self knows your true emotions and thoughts so why expend the energy to hide it, feel your desire and invoke the powers that be…this is step #1 to connecting with Spirit’s Guidance, simply ask, with desire and passion, and the gateways to your Highest Guidance will open.
Remember, the vibrationally attuned energies that align with Spirit respond to the vibrational alignment you have with your request, its not about putting in your order at a vending machine in the sky, or penning a long eloquent dissertation to your omnipitant sacred loved one, its about being real, raw and true. After the incident a few years ago, I was so stripped to the core, so raw that my communication was real, no edited emotions, just the real thing, and my life shifted to the Light. I see this same awakening in my clients that come for readings in the same space as I was in or those that are willing to travel to that space…guidance awakens and manifests in a life that is willing to be lived. However the living of that life looks or manifests is between you and your Higher Self,.
IMG_0576Nathan – I am in the yes that you say to the life you have been given, I am the sunlight that warms your face, the eagles call that awakens your heart, I am the cleansing waters, the jagged shoreline, I am you and you are me. Call me, that is all I ask, but not with your mouth, with your heart, call me and be you for I can only find you when you are true to yourself. If you feel all is not true, that you are lost, unknowing, know that I know you, I see you, and I wish to find you in all of your trials, simply open to me, ask as you are and I will be there. I do not expect perfection, glorious accolades, or special encoded methods of connection, look to the sun feel its warmth, give gratitude for the simplicity of the moment, feel your heart, feel, and ask, ask ask!! I will hear you, perhaps not as you ask me to, but I will hear you. Be not one with an ending, be in flow with the tide of life, I will take you through trials, afterall, your false creations no longer serve, the ones you put in place, it is a task I must take to replace shadows with Light, simply be willing to be awake, simply ask, show me WHO YOU ARE, for with me you are safe.
So, in sumary, so far in the last several blogs the following has been shared:
-To learn to connect with your intuition, begin by trusting your gut feelings, allow yourself to practice in day to day situations, connect with nature, take risks that teach yourself to trust your heart
-Live in gratitude for the food you eat, the air you breathe, the land, the sky, the pets you have, the people who love you, even if you feel there is nothing to have gratitude for, have gratitude for the awareness that you do not have gratitude!
Spring Blossoms May '10 025-Begin to awaken to the idea that guidance (Spirit Guides) are all around you actively in play. Look in the eyes of a friend sharing their story, a loved one trying to help you, the eyes of a horse or dog or beloved pet, the sunshine, words in a book, expand your conciousness past the illusion of Spirit Guides being only a sentient being or a specified individual in Spirit who is whispering secrets too you,.. begin to connect with the gifts of Spirit seen in the eyes and reflections of your world, within those gifts are hundreds of Guides waiting to give you all the Light imaginable! The simple honey bee may be the messenger you have been waiting for, observe, with an open mind, be aware, concious, present, messages await you!
-When you feel a heavy emotion, or joy, bliss or challenged, feel your feeling! I have a dear friend Cathy who shared with me the wisdom that all feelings have a place, and are there to be explored, felt and shared with one’s personal Light. Journal, share with a trusted friend, and share with your silent inner conversation the desire to understand, know or learn from the emotion you are tried with. During my difficult time a few years ago,I felt anger, pain, sadness, loss, I did not allow the emotions to be me, I became the observer, the emotions the teacher, utilizing those emotions as the catalyst for invoking my Higher Guidance, creating a sense of a raw reality that guidance loves to connect to, it opens the doorway.
-In the initial stages of initiating and interacting with guidance, detach of the end results, let it be and let Spirit be.
-observe your world, become conciously aware of every moment, every being, tree, wind, way, lesson, or opportunity as a chance to receive Divine guidance…more on this point in my next blog post in November!
In the next blog post, I will expand on the de-mystification of Spirit Guides and discuss living in a present moment state of awarness, as well as knowing the difference between the conversation of Spirit and the conversation of the mind. In the meantime, for this month, practice the points noted in the summary (section above).
In the final blogpost (several months from now) I will talk about Nathan indepth, why there is a name Nathan attached to the Guidance I receive from this specific attunement with Creators energy, but there is alot of ground to cover before then. Thank you for all your wonderful questions and comments. My prayer is that this blog creates an opportunity for you to live in the question, and respond in alignment with your Lifes work. My email is always open for private discussion.
Wishing you blessings and Light
see you in November!


Spirit Guides…..

DSC00139Spirit Guides…..

Spirit Guides are sacred sources of Divine energy often personified as Beings or animals monitoring our every move. Many people believe or teach that accessing our “Guides” can be complex and limited to the holy anointed ones, mystical workshop leaders, the lucky ones, or those who have a perceived direct line to the Divine, but this is not so, everyone can access their Guide, and I am dedicating the next few weeks to assisting you in discovering your connection with your Spirit Guide.
My journey…
Until my mid thirties, I had no idea what “Guides” were, I merely knew that I had forces within that assisted me along my path in life. I knew that if I remained in connection with those forces I would embark on a journey intended for me. I also knew that I could one day, through Divine guidance, free myself from the shackles I had built around my wounded wings. Guidance from Spirit plays a significant role in my life, in this blog post I would like to share with you parts of my life journey that assisted me in learning to embrace Guidance from Spirit. So, for the sake of staying focused (a challenge for me!), I will start from the beginning of my personal story about connecting with my intuitive self and developing a connection with my Spirit Guide. I will try my best to give you the Coles notes version of my journey!
Sacred Memories, simple gratitude

DSC00259My most sacred encounters with Spirit’s guidance occured as a result of spending childhood moments on my Grandparent’s farm in rural Manitoba. My Grandparents farm was a virtual playground of creativity, offering a beautiful connection with nature. My Grandparents lived a very simple life, they owned a small farmhouse full of love and vacant of the essentials of modern day living. The home had no running water until the mid 70’s, and minimal lighting, oil heat, water hauled by hand summer and winter, all food consumed by our family was grown or canned on the farm, all meat came from our friend the chicken, the cow named Bossy, or the pig from the neighbor of which my Gigi traded eggs for our bacon and ham. My Gigi was a spirited European immigrent with the longest, thickest eyebrows I had every seen. He was an entrepreneur specializing in chicken farming. On his business trips to town, my Gigi would dress up in a fine suit and tie, head to the big city and sell his eggs to his regular customers. While adjusting his hat and lighting his home rolled Export Acigarette, he would beam a brilliant smile at the prospects of bringing home some cash for his eggs, spending time at the York Hotel eating hamburger steak, and of course enjoying a shot or two of 5 Star Whiskey after his meal. My Gigi had a high level of gratitude for the simple things in life, a vision for his business, and a creative way of approaching joy in life, to him, life was meant to be lived, played with, and embraced. He knew the value of gratitude for even the simplest of gifts, he followed his gut and trusted his intuition. Because of his gratitude for the simple life he lived he was Spiritually open to accept Guidance and whispers of wisdom from his Guides with regards to his business and life. My Gigi taught me that Gratitude is the doorway through which I am able to connect with my Divine source, stay focused on the gift of the present moment, and open myself to Divine Guidance. Gratitude is the first prayer (meditation) I do before every Intuitive Reading and at the start of my day.
The space for creativity
We had virtually no toys on the farm, so our creative juices were forced to flow. The simplicity of the life my Grandparents lived and shared made room for me to have minimal external interruptions of my sacred creative time. There were no distractions from TV (unless the rabbit ears had enough tin foil on them and directed just right), life was simplified, distractions were minimal, all prime conditions for connecting with intuition and creativity. Out on the farm, the main place I could find creative moments were found in the exploration of the bushes that surrounded the old farm site. I would spend hours in the bush, imagining the life of a pioneer, or the expertise of a hunter, some days I was Laura from Little House on the Prairie, and other times I was Daniel Boone, hunting the local beasts. My time alone in the bush provided me an opportunity to connect with nature, to observe the flying squirrels, prairie chickens, and wolves. During this sacred time in my life, I developed a strong sense of knowing that more existed then I and I embraced a connection with the animals and land. I learnt to rely on my instincts to find my way home, and to trust my gut in situations that were somewhat dangerous. This was the beginning of opening my intuitive doorway…a simplified life with minimal to no distractions,trust, as well as developing a fine tuned skill for living in the moment and observing within that moment the messages held within it. Today, in my practice as an Intuitive, I am asked daily, how did I become intuitive. I did not have a formal education in order to learn to be intuitive or communicate with my Guide, I did not sign up for a class or spend a gazillion dollars on intuitive lessons, ….instead I took time to connect with nature, love the simple life, trust my gut, take chances, believe, and live in the moment, this was my training ground. Today I still take time to have peaceful simple moments. I rarely if ever watch TV, I take time daily to connect with nature, and have many creative outlets which assist me in awakening my intuitive self. When I am creatively involved in a project (be it running, making chocolate, cooking a meal) my mind is silent, in the present moment, and I am connecting with the energy of all that is around me, in this space, I find my Guide Nathan, in this space of silent creativity I am able to do readings for my clients. Gratitude, silence, peace, creatively engaging in meditation to open my higher connections, trust, these are all the major components that assist in making a connection with my Guides.
Guidance from Spirit Guides…
The guidance from Spirit Guides manifests in many forms. These forms appear as opportunities, lessons, and experiences focused on assisting you to ascend to the highest possible vibration (or expression) of your Spirit. Remember, a guide is not difficult to access, is not located as some sort of superior being located way outside of you, nor is it only access able through quasi ascended masters, mystical mystics, workshop leaders, books claiming to know all of Spirits way, or anyone else outside of you. YOU HAVE all that it takes to access your Guidance, or essential vibrational attunement with Divine intention (thats what Spirit Guides are really all about, attunement with Divine intention for your life), there are merely a few steps to get there. Here are three that assisted me, perhaps they will assist you too….
Three key components to developing your intuition and connection with a Spirit Guide
1. Gratitude when you need to access wisdom, intuition, guidance for a life situation, sit quietly and feel gratitude for the moment at hand, no matter how difficult it may be, feel gratitude, for in gratitude you become attuned with the vibration of the Divine grace all around you, an awareness develops outside of your situation, you become focused on the Light of the challenge or question at hand. As demonstrated in my story, the moments of solitude, silence, the simplicity of life, living in gratitude for the simple act of selling eggs, having joy love and peace while living in simple conditions, the stillness that existed on the farm combined with the gratitude for all, gave way for the three main pillars of intuition, that being clarity, creativity and peace. With clarity, creativity and peace, the process of awakening your intuition and following guidance can begin.
2-Invoke your Higher Self (or Spirits Guidance) to assist you. This can be done by either prayer, meditation or simply asking for assistance on the matter at hand, then move your awareness to the present moment, watch around you for changes in perception, shifts in your world, messages from people, animals or words all around you, be in the present moment. In my story, I shared with you how in the bush out on the farm, I needed to be aware of my environment. While trusting my instincts on how to return home safely from a tour of the woods, I would need to also be aware of the trail ahead of me, animals and predators around me, the weather, the time of day, the direction and so much more. The farm taught me to ask for help from the energies of my intuition and higher self, then to stay alert, aware and follow the path ahead of me, never judging if I took a wrong turn, if that happened I would merely get back on track, but I would always go back and forth from instinct to invoking the Guides around me.
3- Trust, ah yes, now that’s a big one, for me anyway! Trust that you are being Guided, that you are connected to Divine source, that your life has a purpose, the trials you are experiencing are for the highest good. Trust that your Guides are alive and active within you, they are not a royal regal being floating outside of you, but a strength, an intuition, gut feel, knowing, a silent whisper, a loud call, a beckoning, a challenge to move, shift, change and grow.
Exercise for connecting with Intuition and Guidance
For this week, practice the 3 key components to developing your intuition and guidance, …sit in silence and with an attitude of gratitude, invoke your Guides to assist you, ask for help, be humble, kind and full of gratitude for the presence of your situation and the love that surrounds you. Journal your thoughts, and words of guidance that come forth while you meditate, become a scribe for your higher self. Become more aware and leave your meditative state. Engage in your daily life in a new way of awareness that allows you to be present and alert to all leads, clues or messages from your guides with regards to your situation or question. Trust the process of Guidance and know you will be shown the path, surrender and know that it may not be exactly as you think your path should be, but you will be shown if you are open and filled with trust and gratitude. Journal your experiences, and in the journaling see the correlation, messages and gifts of your awareness of the interactive moments you have with your Guides.
Next week I will write about my experience of meeting my Guide Nathan, why the name Nathan was given to my Guide, and how you can meet and be with that special connection known as your Spirit Guide. As well, I will continue the discourses from Nathan about demystifying Spirit Guides.
Until next week, I wish you many blessings along your path of discovering your connection with your inner Guidance…your Spirit Guide.

DSC00310Here is a picture of the “campus” of my “intuitive university”, the farm!!