continuation from the previous post, Check Mate….
I decided it was time to take on this illness that had tackled my life…daily meditations, journaling, eating a very pure diet consisting of the finest organic veggies and meat. Every morning I would take a handful of vitamins and of course the meds my doctor prescribed for me. These pharmaceuticals are useless bloody things I thought, but I will take the prescription just to be sure I covered all ground. My Doctor ordered my medication to be taken 6 times a day at the exact same time every day, my every waking hour was fully absorbed in healing. My heart rate remained very high therefore making my metabolism ultra quick, I was absolutely starving all the time and would burn through my food so fast that it seemed like I was eating several times an hour yet I continued to loose a lot more weight. I was giving this healing journey my all, yet I was not improving.
I became very frustrated, anger rose inside of me, I was very used to winning physical battles, after all I had just retired from a very successful career as a sought after homeopathic doctor and during that career I was able to help hundreds and hundreds of people heal their health issues. Ah yes indeed,.. humbled yet again. In frustration, I stood in the middle of my living room and yelled out loud to my guides, “where are you, I can’t hear you, help me”! immediately a voice from deep within my heart spoke ever so softly and said, “Im right here, but you can’t hear me over your own demanding voice”. “Im listening damn it!! I yelled back. ” I’m doing everything I know how to do” I said. “Yes, ’tis true,” said the voice from within, ” you are, doing everything YOU know how to do but you are not doing what our guidance is telling you”. I suddenly felt super weak and proceeded to sit on the floor feeling defeated but yet noticed a flicker of fight existing somewhere deep inside. I thought about what my beloved Guide had just shared with me, and realized that I was following my knowing mind but not my guided intuitive mind.
What I learnt….
What I thought was guidance was actually a recall of the familiar, that which I innately and educationally knew. I was so used to being in control, so used to being in charge that I immediately went to the familiar and did not make room for the unfamiliar. I remembered the instructions of my Guide asking me to be authentic to my Guides first and then to the world, to be present in this one moment I have right now, to surrender. I was in no way surrendered but was in full blown control mode. My career as an Intuitive, spanning over almost 2 decades taught me clearly how to decipher guidance from the ego self yet in this personal instance I avoided what I knew was sacred guidance because I was keenly aware and very afraid of how things were going to change and what my life would look like after all the healing had taken place. I choose my familiar habits and mindset over Guidance.
I have provided Intuitive Readings for over almost 6000 worldwide, and every time I engage with Sacred Guidance it comes forth as a silent whisper that encourages present moment awareness. It is a word or two, maybe a sentence if you are lucky that points a finger in a direction, and often tells you something that is way out of your box. It is that still small voice that can rattle you yet console you at the same time. Guidance is an energy, a presence, it does not necessarily only come forth as a voice, it can show up as wisdom shared by another earth traveller (human, animal or plants), a sign you see on the road, a song. The modality for communication of guidance can vary and is as unique as our own fingerprint. We each have our own way of receiving and interpreting guidance yet there is one consistent pattern almost always present when guidance is sought, and that is if what I am “hearing” as guidance has a full out ready to go plan, knows the outcome, is a loud cheerleader, a persistent dominant voice advocating a certain pathway that is filled with hauntingly familiar solutions, then this is the shadowed self, the ego directing the show, this is not guidance. Guidance is a gentle advocate, one the presents a perspective that may be familiar yet is often a perspective that would not be considered due to the challenge or vulnerability at hand. Guidance usually will give a big vision glance but then reverts to present moment promptings and challenges. It is brief, slight, gentle, at times persistent, pesky but always in a subtle way.
Allow yourself to observe rants and raves of what you should do, how you should be that echo within your heart. When these rants and raves begin they are far different from a creative flurry, they present as almost overbearing planning sessions and directives that start flying around inside your mind. Do not negate these thoughts or deaden their voice, let it swirl, observe, stay in the present moment, but remain as an observer, even nodding your head or acknowledging the “wisdom” as if you can see what this voice means and says. At this point you are merely listening but choose to not be obedient to the voice, its as if it is background sound. Remember, negating this voice will only make it louder later. If this voice persists, allow yourself to drift into the present moment, pulling away from the voice by occupying yourself in the here and now. You can become more present simply by observing your breath, a walk in nature, cooking a meal, go for a run, ride a bike but be here now. Notice how the persistent voice starts to weakens with your present moment activity. Eventually while you are in the present moment a whisper will break through, it will be quick, sometimes pointed, but it will peak through. When you hear the whisper, thank your Guide for pointing a finger in the direction you need. Begin to journal, follow or create what is given to you. At this point you can add in your own flavour, your own creativity and expand upon the idea given. Now your creative process of interacting with Guidance has begun. Ask the questions you wish to seek answers for, interact with your Guide and listen, surrender and have faith in your ability to embrace your life.
Next week… Surrendering to the plan.
Blessings and Light!