The journey back to a healthy productive life took me sometime. My greatest obstacle was myself, my greatest challenge was myself, and yet my greatest healing came from understanding myself. I look back on the challenges of that illness and I am so super grateful I ran into the blessing of hitting rock bottom, no, not to bounce back up or however that saying goes, but to scrape along the rocks allowing the process of disassembly to regenerate my life. I did not bounce back up because I hit bottom, I built a foundation made of stone while I dwelled in the lowest place of my life, I used the force of suffering to be the catalyst of freedom. Oh, don’t kid yourself, I went through mounds of tear filled Kleenex, jaw clenching fear, and a pronounced stubborn refusal to change my ways, but I persevered because I wanted to LIVE, not just be alive, no, I wanted to LIVE! Life doesn’t have to hit me so hard anymore for me to adjust my sails and get back on course, I developed an awareness that cannot be denied. Here is what I learnt…
-Awaken every day with an unbridled gratitude for the miracle of life. Everyday I am able to see the light of day is truly a miracle, every day I have health, food, shelter, love, every day that my loved ones are still on this side of the grass is a true miracle and rather then praying for miracles and wants and desires, I simply realize that whatever it is that animates me and brings this miracle of life to me day after day has the power to know why I am here, and so I surrender to that power in prayerful meditation offering the miracle of me for the Highest purpose possible in the day I have been given. I used to pray for this and that, almost telling the Divine what the plan is, but now I live surrendered to a Higher plan. No, I don’t sit there waiting for Creator make my day, I simply connect with the energy of the day and follow the prompts of my life.
-My prayers and meditations are not formal, I am sure there is a place for that in the world and I honour that, but its not my cup of tea. I have learnt that life is simple, real, raw, and thats how my Higher power wants me, so if I don’t speak in words like “thy and thou”, on a daily basis, if I don’t know any fancy ceremonies or holy mantras, masterful mudras, or the right words to say thats just perfectly fine,..Creator knows my intention, my needs, my wants, my love, what makes my heart sing, Creator knows the grand plan for my life, so I just need to be me, rough edges and all and in that I am heard. No one human or organization, no fancy dance, fancy ceremony, fancy words, fancy magic comes between me and the intended purpose of my incarnation. I am my own direct source to Source, I do not need a priest, pulpit or guru or perceived authorities of the Spiritual path. I do need, however, sacred teachers and I find these each and every day in the form of everyday people, events, trials, tribulations, nature, my dog, family, beloved ones, friends and perceived foes.
-I learnt that most of my hardest lessons, health crisis, personal struggles have been both self induced and also Divinely guided. If I sway from being me, life throws boulders at my head to remind me of who I am! If I stay true to my essence, life becomes a sacred teacher. My essence is not a job or defined by such,.. I may love to sing but it doesn’t mean I have to be the next Pink or Bono, I can live from that joy simply in my own home, fill my heart with the joy of singing and then take that joy out into my job, sharing joy with perhaps someone who was joyless that day. If I want to take my singing to the show “The Voice” or stand in front of Simon Cowell, well, then I do so with 1000% of me in, all the way, no attachment to the end result, and knowing that whatever Simon says will not in anyway alter my joy, that perhaps its my job to simply share me in that way on that day with Simon! My freedom, abundance, prosperity, love, health, and more is not bound in the mindset, judgements or directives of another but in grateful living and in the simple lessons and words of sacred teachers found in everyday life.
My blog posts going forward will share with you many inspirations that evolved from my journey after the illness. It will include teachings from my Spirit Guide and transformational practices. Im deeply honoured that you have chosen to take the time to read my story, … Im sure your life is also a rich garden of teachings and inspiration. I hope I have inspired you to see the fragility in life and to feel the bliss of the miracle of your daily blessings.