Tumble weeds and Crickets!

In my last blog post I talked about a time in my life when I couldn’t feel the presence of my Guides nor hear their sage advice. In my life I have often encountered the deafening silence of no Guidance from “Spirit land”. The perceived lack of guidance is not a comfortable feeling at all, it can be stressful, overwhelming, lonely and fuel for an outright temper tantrum!

Often I am told by friends and family, “you are an Intuitive, you must hear guidance all the time” or “oh its easy for you, you have a direct line to the Guides”….um, no! As with any human, I have my frailties and faults, doubts and fears but one thing I have learnt in my work as an Intuitive is that the perception that my beloved guides are missing in action is actually manifested from my fears and doubts and not based on any reality, in fact, they are right there beside me waiting for me to become more grounded and present.

Recently in a meditative conversation with my beloved Guide Nathan, I asked a few key questions that helped me understand where my guides are during times of stress and indecision, and why I cant hear them.  In sharing my Guides response I hope that you too can find a peaceful place in your heart when the journey feels like you have landed in a ghost town where the only inhabitants are tumbleweeds and crickets and the silence between you and guidance is deafening.

I began my interaction with Nathan by invoking his presence,  “My beloved Guide”, I said, ” I find it ever so stressful when you are silent in my times of trouble, I feel alone, and am afraid to make the wrong decision during these times. I fear I will follow a path incongruent with who I am and the wishes of Creator. Where are you in these moments of silence?!” I could feel a knot of anger welling up inside, a sense of a perceived injustice that must be brought before the light.  My Guide answered “Dear one, as we have shared with you before, we are like a sacred coach on the sidelines of your life allowing you to strengthen your resolve and develop your power as we cheer you on, but yes there is more”. Knowing that gratitude is the catalyst for connection with my Guide, I respectfully said “I am deeply grateful for all that you give and all that you allow to strengthen me, but I need to understand the depth of what is actually going on so I can truly release into the trust of your wisdom”. In other words, where the (blank blank) are you when I need you, like for real, spill the beans oh wise one!

Nathan continued, “Dear one, I am your beloved Guide, a guardian of your own personalized book of Authenticity and Truths. I am aware of your journey from beginning to the very end, it is my responsibility to guard your Light, your heart and path. You are a gift to this world, all humans are, even those who are expressing darkness are a gift to bring more Light into the world. When you are in fear, doubt, when you pain and tantrum, when you panic and fill yourself with worldly fears you have become more of the world and less of yourself.” I interjected, “please, keep it simple my guide, I am not complex and need a direct response.” My Guide Nathan continued “If it is simplicity that you want, then here is a serving of what you ask…My duty is to hold you in the Light of how you were created to be, I see only your authentic self, yes, you are human and must at times spin with fear and folly but dear one when you dwell in it, feed off of it, when your woes and tantrums become your minds main food, then I must stand in silence, holding all of your dreams in my arms guarding them from the wounded mind. I must keep them close to me and guard them as a mother bear guards the cubs. I keep them from contamination of worldly thoughts and fears and guard their purity. I hold the vision of who you really are, and stand in silence until even for a moment your peace returns, your presence, then I will join with you again to continue your journey. Understand dear one, it is a loving guardianship of your dreams that is in action, not abandonment or the with- holding of your life”

I asked Nathan, “Then how do I reconnect to my authentic self and retrieve what you are keeping safe for me, in other words how do I get back on track when my mind is filled with fears and anxiety, worry, when the bills aren’t paid or I fear for my child, or I worry about love or the lack there of?” I felt a bit frustrated at this point, I thought please don’t ask me to live in constant bliss, ask me to levitate or meditate or drink Kombucha! Im an active, vital, slightly mischeivious personality who loves to live life boldly and on the edge, I love to live IN the world and not on the Island of Woo Woo!

“Why dear one would we ask you in these times of trial to be anyone but you? We know who you are and how you react, how you live. We do not demand obedience, we ask for your presence. Yes, live IN the world! Enjoy! You must live IN the world in order to share your brilliant light with others!  We do not ask that you live a pristine life in order to be worthy of Guidance, ney, that is religion not Spirit!” In a rather robust way Nathan concluded by saying “Allow yourself to feel, react, respond, have your tantrum experience, but once you are aware of your spin and you take a moment to stop blaming everything and everyone, when you notice that you are feeding on repetitious fears, take a moment in silence, perhaps even a day, be completely and utterly silent, no input, no output, sit still and breathe…breathe in and out so so slowly, gather your awareness that in this moment you are alive, your are fed, watered, you are alive! Take a walk, be aware of what is around you, give gratitude for your eyes , for your ears, for your senses, your legs and the heart beating in your chest. Bring everything back to a simple place of being grateful and in the present moment.”

I asked, “is this all about having faith in you and never being lost or upset?”  “Ney Ney, no dear one, it is not about Faith in the present moment, or a guide, an angel or more. It is about reconnecting to the faith you naturally have in yourself, in your ability to love, in the fact that you are walking faithfully in the mystery of being alive every moment of your day!  Dear one, when you can connect to even a snippet of faith in yourself, then we can see you and begin to release your life back to you. It is not about faith in another, it is about faith in yourself for it is in you that all Light, love and miracles radiate from. The energy of the highest source is in every beat of your heart, in the vibrational frequencies of you, your life, your breath. Have faith in you and then we can see you again, ..then we can release back to you your answers, your dreams and wise ways”. 

Nathan concluded his teaching, “We do not withhold from you we protect for you, we do not stifle your experience, we honour your experience and expression, we do not abandon  we hold vigil in silence whilst you traverse your fears and worries. We, your guides, are not interested in worldly accomplishments, ney, we do not care whether you are a pastor, a president, a street sweep or a parent, those are all irrelevant to us, all we care about is that you embrace the fact that it is a miracle that you are alive, that you are full of love and the capability to share this, and that your full expression of love is alive and exploring your world.”

“Dear one, to reconnect to guidance, to come back to your centre when all feels lost, remember this….When you hurt dear one, love another, when you are poor, give…when you are confused, pause and be still, when you are sad, wipe the tear of one that has more pain. Step further into your stillness, heal another to heal yourself, and most of all, be grateful…you are truly a miraculous gathering of so much more then your pains and frustrations.”

What did I learn

-I have been taught that in times of trouble to have faith outside of myself, but in this interaction I learnt that I am a source of wealth and possibility, creativity, and joy.  When I am off course, panic filled and feel alone and abandoned by my higher source it means that I am flooded with too much input from the world, that I am more invested in my worries then the beauty of being alive in this moment.

-In order to bring myself back to a place of clarity and hear my Spirit’s guidance I need to silence the outer world, the chatter all around me, if even for a few moments. Breathe, find places and pockets of sincere gratitude, feel a warmth of love inside and then ask for guidance and clarity without expectation of an immediate download from my Guides.  Then, from a peaceful place, state my truth, return back to the feeling of love and warmth, present moment awareness and return to my life newly charged knowing that my inner being is fed and acknowledged by the love in my heart and that from this place all will be known. Also, in times where I feel absolutely locked down with fears and worry, then it is time to love more, share more, care more, and give outside of myself greater then the pain I hold within.

Blessings and Light

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